| Friday, March 28, 2008 |
| Of Every Little Things.. |
Just got a text from my dad asking me about my day. Told him i bloody skipped classes the whole day. He never said anything about that. All he did was to ask if i am okay.
Asked him on his opinion after my graduating from my dumbass Bachelor. He said he'll support my studies financially no matter where or when or how i wanna do it.
i could no longer hold back my tears and burst out in tears.
How much i've missed home. How much i love you dad, you might never know how much. How much i've missed you and home. How much in a dilemma i am now. To see that you've aged. To feel how much you care for me. To feel how much you love me though i seldom hear it from you. How much i've cried just thinking about you and mum, and the rest.
To you, ... ... ... ... ... It's really hard for me. i gave you just one day. One day.. To give in to me, to forgive my temper, to love me no matter what crap i may spit out from my mouth, but you just had to add in humour and ridicule in whatever you do. Just one day. Just one day of telling myself, just one day to convince myself, just one day of making myself believe that you're worth it.
To everyone, have i become one really weird person? Have i changed? Have i fucked my own life up? Have i done my best for myself? Have i been too selfish? Have i given all my love for people whom i should have given it to? Have i? There are thousands of questions in my mind. They seem to be spinning like a grinding machine and are moving way too fast for my brain to digest. If only i could spilt it apart, scrap out all the questions that are playing in my mind.
To myself, today is one day where i should start making myself happy. This isn't a promise as i can't assure that i can do it.
Cheers to me, and please pray that i can make it..
Labels: emotion frenzy |
scribbled by And So i Am @ 2:25 PM  |
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| Tuesday, March 25, 2008 |
| Fucked-up Dude |
Recently i have been sort of keeping in touch with a guy who was my ex-schoolmate. When we first met again, it was like meeting an old friend whom you've not met for ages. It was good, you give him your number and contacts thinking that you guys can catch up on stuffs that you've missed on each other.
Everything went well.. Well, it went well the first half an hour after giving him my contacts. Yeah well i know you shouldn't be giving out your contacts so easily and shits like that but how would i know? He was my ex-schoolmate and i never knew he was gonna be so fucking irritating.
Anyway to cut things short, this guy went all mushy and shitty over MSN with me by saying that he's interested in me and that he wants to go after me and fuck shits like that.
HOW THE HELL CAN YOU FALL IN LOVE WITH A GIRL (WHOM U ONCE DID) RIGHT AFTER SEEING HER FOR LIKE, 1 MINUTE IN THE CAMPUS AFTER, 5 YEARS OF NOT MEETING?
This, is insane!
Alright, and so i told him that i am taken. And guess what. He could change his opinion and feelings right after what i said and told me, "Oh, so you got any pretty girls to introduce to me? It would do me good". What the fuck, you tell me! However he proceeded to changing his nick to something like this - I once fell in love deeply with a girl. Now I'm all over her again.
WTF? And he came telling me that he was talking about me. Geez, how in the world do these people think! And ever since he has been pestering me into introducing him a girl and that he really needs love right at this moment and so on. Anyway, he's been on my blocked list ever since. However, he never got the hint and proceeded to annoy me by sending me smses. An example - Where've you been today? I didn't see you in uni.
Hello? Like we're in the same class? Hello? Like we're so destined to meet each other? Hello? Where the hell is your mothafucking brain?
Anyway, my emotions have been pretty fucked up lately so little things like this annoys me to the max. Something got me thinking recently. Why have i become an unhappy girl? i mean, compared to a coupla years ago.
Sometimes i really wish that i could turn back time and go back to times when i was once a cheerful person with no worries at all and could enjoy all the little things that could cheer me up. However, i do realize that these are part and parcels of growing up and there is nothing that i can do to avoid these. Anyway, just seeing that i've not been updating this blog for so long so just thought of dropping a few lines worth of my life on, my life?
*cheers*
Labels: emotion frenzy, life |
| scribbled by And So i Am @ 5:09 PM |
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| Tuesday, March 18, 2008 |
| Whaddya Know? |
When you spend quite sometime cleaning the house. When you are so satisfied with what you've achieved. Your room looks like the princess' room. The living room's sparkling clean. Not even a speck of dust can be found. You smile till your jaws're gonna drop. When you wake up the next day. All you find is...  Tornado attack. All you're gonna feel is.. Du.lan. Ah.. Fuck dirty people. Fuck mindless people. Fuck selfish people. Fuck cleanliness-ignorant people. Fuck them all. ---------- When you do something for someone you love, you do it out of willingness. However when other people i.e. someone you love's friends make full use of your love for that someone you love, All you feel is.. RAWRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR And yet when they start ordering you i.e., "Why aren't you doing it yet?!", "Hurry up!", "We've got no time to lose!". All you're gonna do is.. Suck it "Who the fuck do you think you are?! Go fuck yourself. Well, if you can". ---------- When all of a sudden, someone said something and it's gonna mean that your dreams're gonna come true, you go.. 'Nuf said.
Labels: emotion frenzy, life, random |
| scribbled by And So i Am @ 4:41 PM |
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| Saturday, March 15, 2008 |
| Of Love and Of Failure |
Have been talking to a certain friend recently. One whom i seldom chat with before. It is saddening to see relationships which you always thought are happy ones where the couples seem to love each other more than anything in the whole World.
Recently, there has been so many failures of relationships which i seem to witness them with my own eyes. One thing that i do not understand is that, why must love end this way?
i...
Oi so lame la.. i've forgotten how to blog. What.The.Fuck.
Aiya i continue next time lar. Please do not punch me on my face or fuck my ass.
Tata.
Labels: crap, random |
| scribbled by And So i Am @ 1:06 PM |
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| Tuesday, March 11, 2008 |
| I've learned.. |
'I've learned that no matter what happens or how bad it seems today, life does go on and it will be better tomorrow.' 'I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage and tangled Christmas tree lights.'
'I've learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life.'
'I've learned that making a 'living' is not the same thing as 'making a life.'
'I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance.'
'I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands . You need to be able to throw some things back.'
'I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision.' 'I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one.' 'I've learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug or just a friendly pat on the back.' 'I've learned that I still have a lot to learn.' 'I've learned that people will forget what you said ; people will forget what you did ; but people will never forget how you made them feel.' - Maya Angelou Labels: meaningful shit, random |
| scribbled by And So i Am @ 3:35 PM |
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| Thursday, March 6, 2008 |
| And So When That Special Someone.. |
When you love someone so deep.. When you could give everything up just for that someone..
When you have thought of the perfect plan..
When you felt that that someone is the one..
When you gave all your heart..
When you think that that someone loves you more than anything in the world..
When you gave everything you had just for that someone..
When you think everything you did is worth it..
When everything that someone does is sweet..
When you think that the love in between is accomplished..
When that someone could do everything just to put a smile on your face..
When you get so excited just because that someone actually did put a smile on your face..
When you get so sad when you break that someone's heart..
When that someone's tears could just melt your heart..
When you feel like you've lost everything just because you almost lost that someone..
When you get so happy just because that someone says "I love you"..
When you feel that you're everything in the world to that someone..
When that someone is the only reason which can cause your tears to flow endlessly..
When all you can do is smile when you see that someone in happiness..
When you include that someone in every single decision you make..
But when that someone, that someone could not give you certainty.. All you are ever gonna feel is.. Frustration..Desperation..And you'll give all of that everything you've given.. Up..
Labels: love, random |
| scribbled by And So i Am @ 5:18 PM |
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| Tuesday, March 4, 2008 |
| Who-To-Vote-For Survey |
According to the 100% accurate kennysia.com Who-To-Vote-This-Election Decision Generator™, I am voting for...
DEMOCRATIC ACTION PARTY!If you're having a problem with who to vote for during this coming election on the 8th of March 2008, click here and see what your inner feelings say on who to vote for! Hindraf = Hindu with dandruff. LOL Labels: politics, random |
| scribbled by And So i Am @ 5:12 PM |
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| The One Who Scribbles |
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Name: And So i Am
Home: Selangor, Malaysia
About Me: The past is always a mystery..
The future is yet to come..
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Can't do nothing without a phone. Yes i still use the BANANA phone. SO? Sue me. =P
Er.. To be aware of the time instead of being like someone who isn't!! *ahem* Mine's not in this colour. It's a pretty shade of brown. i swear it's not this ugly!! i can't find the picture though.
To distract attention away from my fingers.. 'Cause they're ugly and scrawny.
i've become a geek nowdays =P But i still look pretty wokay. Mine's a pretty shade of magenta.
Or else i cannot breathe properly.
How can one survive without money?
Allergy la.
Or else i'll die of boredom.
